Do you have a standard routine when it comes to sex?

We all have our favourite moves and tools to get us through. Even in daily life, it can be a Panadol to cure the headache, Zaleplon to cure the insomnia or even just a tiny bit of stuff to make you relax and forget the troubles. We have our choice. We created it. There is this saying, ‘We’re human after all’. We need things to get us through life.

Nowadays, most of us live in a very hectic lifestyle. Sometimes we don’t even have time for that sweet soft kisses. Sometimes, we only have the time for whatever needs to be done to get it done. Don’t get me wrong. I am not against short cuts and certainly not quickie. But, what if it becomes a routine?

I read an article earlier about this guy who works 9am to 7pm or sometimes till late on daily basis. He loves his job and his wife. He wants to provide her with all the happiness in the world except sex. He is tired all the time and easily lose his focus at home. Once in awhile the wife will give him a blowjob, but only happens if it’s a stressful day at work. He masturbates everyday because it is faster and they have sex maybe once in 2-3 months. And this have been going on for 3 years. But that doesn’t mean they love each other less. Or want to be with each other less according to them. My jaw almost touch the floor as I read on. It sounds to me that his short cut to relieve tiredness is masturbating, and relieving stress is a blowjob. This is their routine. It makes me think. Don’t you worry about the way you take short cuts going to affect your relationship? Don’t you wish you could be better to your lover? Don’t you aware that being creative in your sex life helps you focus? On the bright side, they do accept it (I guess they just have to, since they make the choice after all) and happy about it. Right now, maybe. But how long do you think they can last for? I almost feel sorry for them.

There’s another article I came across about a couple who only have sex when both are drunk, which only happens once a month if they are not too busy to go out. According to them, it is easier and faster. So both can just get on with it and get it done with. They have been together for 7 years. Okay, so their short cut to spark their relationship is alcohol (lots of it I guess, since they both have to be equally drunk). Easier and faster so you don’t have to spend time enjoying each other. Or maybe, they need it to forget about what they did last night because it is the worst sexual experience or just plain awful. Perhaps, they need it to boost up their mojo, as they are shy even after 7 years together or they just hate to communicate during sex. There is no doubt certain substances help you relax, you can be more fun and adventurous. Some of you probably thinking, oh! chill the fuck out lady. It works for them and they’ve been together long enough to survive such relationship after all. My question is, what if we get to a point when we can’t figure out how to make it through without it? What if the sex gets stale and boring? What if one of them changed?

We do need something to satisfy our needs. They serve a purpose and make life easier. So, why would we want to risk of choosing a harder, tougher, more frustrating route?

Here is what I think. Everyone has such a different views. And every single person have a valid points of reasons over their choice. It’s okay to have a short cuts because everyone does, be it with your favourite moves, tools or anything at all. As someone who is dating a busy other half, I’m not going to pretend I have the luxury of time for leisurely making love at all times. But one thing for sure, it will be different experience every time.

So the next time you are about to do another same old routine, ask yourself or even better discuss with your partner with these simple questions. What can you do at that time (especially if you are both busy), when can you do it (or proceed with other moves if time is not permitted for a long caress and loving) and how can you make it happen.

Weekend is here. Change your routine.

=)

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